Lovingly drawn stick figures and notes of varying inappropriateness?!?! Sold!!!!

Guys!!!! You MUST enter this giveaway! Wait. No. Don’t enter because I want to win!!!! Wait. No. Enter. Yes, enter. No, no, don’t enter. Agh!!!!!!!!! I just don’t know! The selfish #bookwhore that I am says: Shhhhhh! Be quiet. Don’t share the link and maybe nobody else will enter! The unselfish #bookwhore and crazy #fangirl says: Everyone MUST enter this giveaway because not only will they get to meet the perfection that is Ansel, they could win cool swag! Enter!!!

Welp, you are reading this so clearly the #fangirl won out. Who am I kidding? The #fangirl always wins out. You must enter this giveaway! Here’s the link:

http://christinalaurenbooks.com/2014/03/paris-and-a-sweet-filthy-boy-giveaway/

I’m going to be over here praying to my decapitated (ceramic!) baby Jesus that I win! I mean, I’ll be praying that you guys win! No. Again, who am I kidding? I want those Christina Lauren books with “lovingly drawn stick figures and notes of varying inappropriateness”!!!!!

All the links to purchase Sweet Filthy Boy can be found here:

http://christinalaurenbooks.com/books/sweet-filthy-boy-2/

You MUST enter this giveaway! It’s easy! One-click to pre-order the goodness that is Sweet Filthy Boy and submit your proof of purchase to: christinalaurengiveaway@gmail.com and BLAMO!!! You are entered and you are guaranteed to have Ansel in your Kindle or in your Nook or at your doorstep when you wake up on May 13^th!!! I love Ansel. I do. Just wait until you read my review for Sweet Filthy Boy…it spiraled out of control faster than Bennett rips panties. True story.

So enter! Enter! Enter! And if you win, think about sharing the love…specifically the books with “lovingly drawn stick figures and notes of varying inappropriateness”!!!!! That inappropriateness is calling my name! Come on decapitated (ceramic!) baby Jesus!!! Don’t fail me now!!!

xoxo

This is not a review. I repeat. This is NOT a review!!!!!

This is not a review. I repeat. This is NOT a review!!!!! It’s just me…having just finished a book and I need to take a moment to gush. I’m sure my review will include coherent sentences and my favorite passages from the book. This post will not include any of that. Typing words now is difficult enough as I just want to keysmash! Kmsakjdjifgcfcjdmfkljsidasmdopadieuifysdiomdkxaskdiohfkldsoifysduhfjkd!!!!

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I have to try to focus for a moment. It’s just that I was super lucky and received an ARC of Sweet Filthy Boy yesterday and I’m now trying to not break my laptop by typing too hard. It’s just that I’m really excited. Do you know why I’m excited? I’ll tell you why I’m excited.

We all know that Sweet Filthy Boy is written by Christina Lauren (or C and Lo and I affectionately refer to them;). They have given us the epicness that is Beautiful Bastard, Beautiful Stranger, and Beautiful Player (let’s not forget the novellas that are Beautiful Bitch, Beautiful Bombshell, and Beautiful Beginning!). But here’s the thing!!!! Are you ready?!?!?

Okay. When I finished the Beautiful series, I had two initial thoughts. One: Whyyyyyyyyyy is it over!?!?!? I need more Bennett, Max and Will!!! More! Give me more!!!! Two: it’s like they were just warming up with Beautiful Bastard. How is it even possible that every book got better and better? How!?!?!?

So I may or may not have offered Enn a kidney for an ARC of Sweet Filthy Boy (read: most definitely DID). And then it happened. I came home to THIS last night!

Yay!!!!! I must confess that’s been a long time since I’ve read an actual “real” book. I’m a Kindle whore. You have no idea the amount of highlights I amass in a really great book! So…an actual book…what is one to do with an actual book? Well, if one is me, apparently one does this:

Yeah…I may have exhausted my stash of post-its but it was oh-so-worth-it!!!! Like I said…I have only been in possession of Sweet Filthy Boy for a little over 24 hours and I have finished it. I have lost sleep, I haven’t exactly showered or even left my house and I have consumed a lot of Diet Coke but I have finished the perfection that is Sweet Filthy Boy. Did you catch that adjective? P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N. How do they do it? How does every book get better than the last? 

This is HUGE for me because I deemed Will my favorite Beautiful boy!!! Before I got home to find Sweet Filthy Boy in the mail, I had just written a post re: wanting a decapitated (ceramic!) baby Jesus to offer as tribute to C and Lo when I meet them in Chicago in May! I am serious about my Beautiful boys!!!  

So when I opened Sweet Filthy Boy, I was convinced I wouldn’t love it as much as Beautiful Player. I mean, Will is hard to beat. For Christ’s sake--He knocked Max (a Brit!) out of my number one Beautiful spot! AND again!!! In what world do authors keep getting better and better? We all know Stephenie Meyer dropped the ball in New Moon and; well, Breaking Dawn makes my head hurt. Do you see what I’m saying here?!?! It is nearly impossible for authors to get better with every single book! And yet! C and Lo do it every single time!!!

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! So what I’m saying here is: I looooooooooooooooooooooooove this book! Thank fuck I studied French for 6 years…that helped:) And another Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Simply because I am in awe of the talent that is Christina Lauren. I can’t even…I need to focus and try to string together coherent sentences so I can write a proper review this book deserves.

You MUST pre-order Sweet Filthy Boy here:

http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Filthy-Boy-Wild-Seasons-ebook/dp/B00GEEB5WS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1396141474&sr=1-1&keywords=sweet+filthy+boy

You will thank me—I promise! Can I still have Will as my favorite Beautiful boy and Ansel as my favorite Filthy boy?!?! I can’t choose!!!! Why are C and Lo so freakishly talented?!?!?! So again, this is clearly not a review…just me…not bound by 140 Twitter characters telling you that in no uncertain terms: you MUST pre-order Sweet Filthy Boy. I can’t even….just: Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Holy decapitated (ceramic!) baby Jesus! It's happening!!!

So it's almost April!!! Do you know what that means!??!?! It means it's almost May! Do you know what THAT means?!?!? May 2-4th is the Chicago Author Event. Do you know what THAT means!?!?!? It means that I am FINALLY going to get my hands on some of my very favorites!!!

I swear...you know the headlines that scroll along on the bottom of your screen when you are watching the news? My scroll for the Chicago Author Event is as follows: Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn, Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn!!!!And it just keeps scrolling!!! I cannot frigging wait! I promise no authors will be harmed at this event!

I am so beyond excited! Oh! And double bonus! I am going to get to meet some beautiful tweeps I have been dying to meet in person for what seems like forever. It is going to be a great weekend! I hope some of you who are just thinking about coming decide to come! It’s gonna be FUN!

So…back to my brain that keeps screaming Katy, Alice, BB girls, Enn!!!! on repeat…it’s a bit out of control. I can’t even think of a GIF that would do my excitement justice at the moment. Holy bleep!!!!! I mean, I’m going to meet the pretties who gave me Remy and Simon and Sweet Nuts and Will and Bennett and Max. Holy bleep!!!! How does one prepare for that?!?!?

I was considering offering up a beheaded (ceramic!) baby Jesus as tribute to C & Lo but for the love of God, that’s a one-way ticket to hell! Well…I mean, if someone has accidentally beheaded a ceramic baby Jesus, I’d take it but I do not need THAT in my Google history (it’s bad enough already!) and I’m not sure I could Hail Mary my way out of that one;)

So…ummmmm…yeah…I’m excited. That’s all. Truly. Genuinely. Can’t-frigging-wait-I-may-pee-my-pants EXCITED!!!! You will be hearing so much more about my excitement as the day gets closer but holy decapitated ceramic baby Jesus! It's happening!!!

Long live THE Queen!!!

THIS is why EL is THE Queen…

Even though she has a bazillion followers who I’m sure clump up her twitter feed daily, she took the time to respond. I love her hard. So at this moment, I won’t be fangirling with EL in Chicago BUT I’m sure she will be fangirling with me in spirit.

I love this fandom. A LOT. Seriously. It’s like EL opened up a whole new world (did you just burst into song Aladdin style?) who brought all of these incredible authors and people into my life. I'm so thankful for her.

I’m also so very thankful for all of you making me laugh every day! I can’t wait to see so many of you in Chicago at the Author Event and even more of you in Vegas in October! 

Thanks to all you beautiful people for being supportive of my twiposal to EL…there’s always Vegas, right? :) Something tells me Vegas needs THE Queen!

50 reasons to say YES! to fangirling fun:)

To follow-up on my twiposal to the one and only EL James, I thought I'd make a list. You know, a list as to why the Queen should be my date for the Chicago Author Event in May (May 2-4, 2014)…Let me count the ways…how about…say 50 reasons in no particular order…

1. It’s Chicago!

2. She is made of awesome

3. I’m made of semi-awesome

4.  We can take shoefies together

5. We have pizza!

6. And hotdogs!

7. And a Nutella Bar (did you hear me?!?!? A Nutella Bar at Eataly!)

8. Pretty sure CTG really stands for Chicago Tastes Great!

9. I’ll sign a NDA should she request;)

10. I’m funny

11. She’s funnier

12. She clearly needs more frequent flyer miles

13. Us fangirls have got to stick together!

14. She is THE Queen!

15. I speak Chicago

16. She speaks British

17. Together we speak Chitish

18. I want to thank her

19. Genuinely thank her for opening up this whole new world (not THAT kind of world, you pervs!)

20. Thank her for my new love of authors and books

21. Thank her for my tweeps I discovered in the Twitterverse

22. Thank her for being an old school fangirl

23. We can watch Twilight together

24. Come on! We can giggle every time Edward says, “Beller”

25. We can drink together! We have wine…

26. I get to say: it's NOT porn. It's a love story!!! *with pornish undertones;)*

27.  I won’t try to sneak back to the UK in her luggage—promise!

28. She is British—a picture of refined decorum

29. I’m an American—a crazy nutbag!

30. Together…we can be refined nutbags

31. Pretty sure ARS really stands for Always Really Silly

32. I’ll be on my best behavior

33. I’ll work really hard to control the verbal vomit

34. London has Big Ben

35. Chicago has Willis Tower

36. Together we are Big Willie Style

37. Since she wrapped filming, I’m sure her passport feels neglected

38. Did I mention the Nutella Bar? I think it’s worth mentioning again…

39.  We can chase the dawn—just kidding—that shit is scary and I’ll be sleeping

40. BUT we could drink until dawn & watch the sun rise over Lake Michigan

41. OR we can sleep way past dawn and wake up just in time for lunch & a Chicago latte

42. I’m fifty shades of a fangirl

43. It will be FUN

44.  I won’t ask her ANY movie questions (pinky swear!) 

45. We can talk rugby…or hot rugby players

46. It’s for the children!!! Just kidding. It’s not for the children, It’s for me:)

47. I want her to O.o. me in person

48.  She made shouty capitals a thing

49.  Me daily: You just shouty capitaled me!!!!

50. Because this fangirl needs a date! And what better date could I ask for than the fangirl of all fangirls who does us proud every time she meets someone who is squeeeeeeeeworthy.

I should probably be shocked at how quickly those 50 reasons came off the top of my head. But I’m not. This fangirl wants a date for this author event and I want the one and only EL James. Pretty sure EL does the impassive stare (via Twitter) even better than 50…so I’ll wait…wait for her to clear her calendar…you know, delayed gratification and all…

Your TBR list will thank me for this...promise!

Is everyone ready to add Forever Your Heart by Mary Whitney to your TBR list? I’ll make it easy…here’s the link on Good Reads:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18138487-forever-your-heart

I love this book. A LOT. I was lucky enough to get an ARC of Forever Your Heart and I am sooooooo excited for everyone to read this book. I need you guys to listen carefully to me…are you ready?

There seems to be some confusion regarding this book. There are 2 books that Mary has written about Adam and Nicki’s story—these 2 books are brilliant and written from Nicki’s point of view. You do NOT have to read these before reading Forever Your Heart. I repeat. You do NOT have to read these before reading Forever Your Heart.  

What is so brilliant about Forever Your Heart  is that it is a combination of those 2 books all told from Adam’s point of view. I’m pretty sure that you will want to read the other 2 books once you have read Forever Your Heart but it is not a prerequisite for reading this beautiful book!

If you are a blogger, please sign up for this tour to spread the love! Link to sign up for the tour is here:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1qkwNrFdYPkLMe5NCIEQwLPx3FIB4-b4NLjDyFO7ha20/viewform

So now that we are all clear on that, I must take a moment to gush. I LOVE this book. I am a sucker for a couple of things and these things are found in this very book! I’m a sucker for a male point of view, British boys, and a well-written and beautiful story. Forever Your Heart  doesn’t just meet, it exceeds these criteria!

I actually wrote a blog post on the first 2 books because I am convinced that everyone should be reading them but that the titles get lost in the shuffle of all the titles out there. Here’s the link to that post:

http://smuttastic.blogspot.com/2014/03/whats-in-title.html 

My full review for Forever Your Heart  will come soon after it releases but do yourself a favor: add this book to your TBR list! I will add the Amazon link to pre-order as soon as it’s up! This is a book you will read and remember. It’s beautiful and I promise you: the Brit that is Adam Kincaid is NOT to be missed!!!

xoxo 

passwords, embarrassment, & more embarrassment, oh my!

Another reason the Queen should be my date for fangirling shenanigans at the Chicago Author Event…Funny story…

Are you listening, EL?

So the other day, my IT guy was in my office. I affectionately refer to him as ‘Fucko.’ My computer was all wonky and he was trying to fix it. But where I work—it’s like Fort Knox. There are passwords for everything and I mean EVERYTHING. 

Well, I was snuggled up in the comfy chair while he was doing his thing. I was so comfy that it got to the point where I was too lazy to get up and type in my passwords so I was just verbally giving him my passwords to put in. No big deal, right? And then it happened…

We got to a password that I did not think he would be asking for. What the hell?!?!? Why did he have to be so thorough!?!? Instant panic. I couldn’t get up and run over and type it in myself! He would think it was way worse than it actually was. I had to think quick! I had a brilliant idea: If I spell it for him, he might not know what it is. I mean, it’s kind of long—he might not even register it in his brain. Genius, right!?!?

Me: Capital C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N-Capital G-R-E-Y-5-0

Silence….no key strokes...Fucko stopped what he was doing. Turned. Looked at me with disgust and said, “Really?”

Me:

Oh…also…apparently IT guys aren’t bound by any type of NDAs because everyone under the sun here seems to now know my password. Awesome.

So there it is…yet another reason why EL should fangirl with me…because as “grown up” and “professional” as I am, clearly you can take the fangirl out of the fandom (by making her go to work in real life!) but you can’t take the fandom out of the fangirl.

xoxo

Drew Evans Day!!!

Today is the day!!!! I no longer have to say, "You can ‘pre-order’ Twisted here!" Rather, I can say, "You can ‘one-click’ Twisted here!" It’s here! It’s live! It’s officially Drew Evans Day!!! Isn’t it a glorious day?!?!?  I’ll answer that for you. Yes!!! Yes, it is!!!! Me…right now:

Since I’m all about over sharing here, I’m going to share a quick story with you about how my love affair with Drew came to be. Tangled  was the very first ARC I ever received from Enn (and she hasn’t been able to beat me off with a stick since then—sorry Enn!).

I was skeptical at first because Tangled was sold to me as, “If you loved Wallbanger, you will love this.” Pause. Stop. Back up. Rewind. Right there. THAT was a problem. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate when people say, “If you like this, then you will love this.” I hate it because it’s usually a lie. Note: I said usually. Most of the time. More often than not. Very rarely is it ever true. See how I feel about the old “If you like this, then you will love this.” sales pitch? I’m skeptical at best.

I remember opening the first page and thinking: Why didn’t anyone tell me this was from Drew’s point of view?!?!? I’m a sucker for a male point of view so *as cliché as this may sound* I was instantly hooked. It wasn’t just the male point of view—it was everything. It was perfect. I couldn’t put it down. It was fanfriggingtastic. I fell in love with Drew. Hard.

Then it started…then I started crushing on Emma. Hard. I should probably also note that in my head, she’s my friend. I mean, she’s my imaginary friend in a totally non-creepy-I promise I won’t try to hide her in my basement-kind of way. I mean, when I finally meet her one day *fingers crossed for Vegas!!!!*, I won’t even have a basement with me. She’s totally safe. Promise! But I love Emma. Like looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove Emma.

As soon as I finished Tangled, this was me:

I couldn’t believe it was over! What was I supposed to do now?!?!? Emma had created these characters I love and now they would be no more? This would simply just not do! And then it happened! The book gods smiled upon me by promising me more Drew in Holy Frigging Matrimony, Twisted, Tamed, and Tied!!!!!!!! MORE Drew!!!!!!!!!

So the day is officially here. Drew Evans Day!!! Twisted is now available with just one-click!!!! I love this book. My review will be posted on Steph’s blog in early April—I believe. You just wait for this review—you have not seen word vomit until you read my Twisted review.

So enough with this blog post—you have real reading to do! Twisted is live for the world to read!!! Buy it! Read it! LOVE it!!! And then…then, let’s talk Drew!!!!! I need you guys to read Twisted ASAP so together we can be all:

xoxo

ONE. MORE. SLEEP.

Okay…have you ever had one of those moments when you can barely type because you are so frigging excited!??!?! This is me. Right now.  I’m kinda just like Drew in Tangled when he was all:

See me there, at my desk, mumbling like a goddamn schizophrenic off his meds?

That’s totally me might now because…Guys!!!!! One more sleep until Twisted is live!!!! ONE. MORE. SLEEP. I am sure you have already pre-ordered Twisted, but if not, here’s the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Tangled-Emma-Chase-ebook/dp/B00EB9ZA24/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1393362472&sr=1-1&keywords=twisted+by+emma+chase

You must read Twisted  STAT so we can talk Drew!!!! All I want is to talk Drew, Drew and some more Drew. Tomorrow will be officially known as Drew Evans Day here on this very blog. Prepare for the crazy because it will be in overdrive tomorrow!!!

There is this part in Tangled that reads as follows:

I fold my hands behind my head and settle back into my pillows           with the biggest, brightest can’t-wait-for-tomorrow smile you have             ever seen.

That will be me when I snuggle in my bed tonight because I will fall asleep knowing that when I wake up in the morning…. Twisted will be live!!!!

First up in the morning: I will be gifting Twisted to some beautiful people via Twitter. Why? Two reasons. First: I loooooooooooooooooooove this book and think that everyone should be reading it AND second: I firmly believe if you are lucky enough to receive an ARC of a book you completely fall in love with, you must spread the love by gifting said book! Drew for everyone, I say!!!!

In Tangled Kate says, “You shine so bright, Drew.” Truer words have never been spoken. Drew shines oh so bright. There may be one person who shines a bit brighter than Drew and that is the unbelievably talented Emma Chase. While tomorrow may be Drew Evans Day here, Emma is gonna get a whole lot of love from moi!

Okay pretties…until tomorrow…I say you re-read Tangled to prepare for Twisted. You thought I loved Drew before? My love for him was nothing in comparison to what it is now…I…can’t…wait…

Until then, I’ll be here…like a schizophrenic off her meds…waiting…just waiting for Drew:)

xoxo 

Happy Birthday Ava!!!!

I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of wonderful people in the Twitterverse. Sooooooooo many wonderful people. And one of the very sweetest has a birthday TODAY!!!! Well, technically her birthday is March 22^nd but she lives in Scotland so while it’s technically still the 21^st here, it’s the 22^nd there so HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVA!!!!!!

If you don’t follow Ava on Twitter, you must. That’s how I met her after all:) You can find her at: @MissAva22 !!! You can also find her at her new home: http://www.bibliobelles.com ! If you haven't done so already, you must visit the Biblio Belles! These girls read a TON, have lots of exciting giveaways and I'm fortunate to call many of these beautiful Belles friends. Also! The Biblio Belles is probably the prettiest book blog I have ever seen and incidentally the prettiness of said blog is the reason why this very blog was born (long story). But! Speaking of being born, today is Ava’s birthday! Wish her a very happy birthday!!!

Ava is a lot of things. She’s made of sweetness and she has the world’s best Scottish accent but above all…above ALL…she’s a lady!!!

You will never catch Ava saying #balls but you will catch her staying up WAY past her bedtime reading, reading, and reading some more. Someone get this girl a medal! Or some sleeping meds. It could go either way.

My birthday wish for Ava:

Sweet Ava,

I hope you have a wonderfully amazing birthday full of love, laughs, and cake. LOTS and lots of cake (I’d say pie but I now know pie is something completely different over there *cringe*)!!!! Thank you for being my original book pimp (along with Kat). Thank you for offering up your knitting services:) Thanks for not throwing something at my head when I complained time and time again that your neon tie-dye was blinding me. Thank you for accosting Sam on my behalf every chance you get. Thank you for being you. I love you. I hope your birthday is as special as you are!

Love,

Me

P.S. Your birthday gift will be waiting for you in NOLA:)

xoxo

Like I said: I have been so very lucky to meet so many incredible people in the Twitterverse. You just wait…birthday wishes for each and every one of you coming to this blog as soon as your special day arrives. Have a beautiful, beautiful weekend and be sure to wish Ava a very happy birthday!!!!

Oh...and hey Ava!!! Look!!! I completed this whole post without using my favorite Scottish word...you know, because I'm a lady and all;)

Word of the day: #twiposal

You know how around this time of year we see story after story re: peeps asking celebrities to prom. Some of the stories are real tear jerkers while some of the stories make you giggle. Every time I see one where the celebrity says, “Yes!” I think: Dang it! Where was Twitter when I went to prom? I just KNOW that I could have coerced my teen crush to go to prom with me. Maybe.

Well…this #fangirl is on a mission. Not just any mission. A go big or go home mission.  And no…no, I will not be asking the most beautiful rugby player in the world to go to prom with me. Instead! I am going after another Brit and this isn’t for prom. Are you ready? Are you!?!?!?!?!?

I am looking for THE Brit who brought me to all of you beautiful people. It is because of her that I turned to Twitter to find this beautiful and crazy fandom that led me to books and authors and more books and more authors. You know where this is going now…don’t you?

Full twiposal (proposal via twitter—seems legit:) below:

Dear @E_L_James,

                      Will you go to the #ChicagoAuthorEvent with me?

Would you do this #fangirl the honor of fangirling with me over the likes of Alice Clayton (amongst others!)? Note: My fangirling over you will commence before we fangirl together BUT once I get that under control, we are in full on #fangirl mode together. What say you? Oh! And I promise not to try and stow away in your luggage to get back to the UK for a certain rugby player. Promise!

xoxo

@smuttastic

And now it’s out there…I have twiposed to the one and only Ms. James. Now we wait. Remember what I said at the beginning? That these proposals end up eliciting tears or giggles? Yeah…It could go either way. Tears if she says no, tears if she says yes (gasp! Can u IMAGINE!?!?!), and giggles. Always giggles.

If you know EL, put in a good word for me, would ya? If you don’t know the Queen, don’t spam her!

Okay…so back to waiting…I’ll report back:)

xoxo