magical unicorns and such...

I am not a writer. I have said this a bazillion times. I have no interest in ever being a writer. Period. However, I am a reader. I love to read. Wait. Let me clarify. I love to read great books by talented authors. I will support authors I love even when they write less than great books. I was thinking about this the other day as I read a book and all I could think was: What the hell just happened here? What did she do?!?! Why?!?!? How did this go so wrong so fast? Let me double check that this is the same author I love. Yep. It is. Crap. Why?!?!?

So what is a reader to do in this era of ‘self-publishing, I know how to hold a pencil so I am going to write a book’ book writing? I’ll tell you what a lot of people do. They take to social media whether it’s in the form of blogs or Twitter or the book with a face that shall not be named and they rip the books and authors to shreds. Well, that’s one approach. I, however, want to take a different approach. Asking myself the ‘why/how the actual fuck did this happen?’ question led me to think…well, not all authors can knock it out of the park every time. I mean, that’s ridiculous. Who can write book after book that you fall head over heels in love with? That’s impossible. Or is it…

It was a light bulb moment! I heard Gru from Despicable Me in my head….LIGHTBULB!!!!! There are some authors who knock my socks off every single time. Specifically—right here and right now—I am talking about Christina Lauren (C and Lo). They are like magical unicorns! But not! I mean, they may indeed be magical unicorns disguised as humans but I have met them in real life so I assure you that they do indeed exist and are even more fantastic in person. BUT it makes me wonder…how do they do it? Do they never drop the ball because there are two of them?

Do you think that they ever read each other’s work and send each other notes that read something like: Did you ingest too much lip gloss? Our readers will have our heads if we try to put that in our book. OR a Have you been drinking again? No. Just no. And of course I envision them doing this with love—you know, throwing in a *falls at Lo’s feet* or a *pats lap* Any and all input, insight, criticism, ANYTHING!, all with love and knowing that they love each other more than anything and that they can genuinely call each other out on anything that is less than CLotastic.. Individually they are each incredible. Together they are a force of nature.

So is that it? Is that why they knock it out of the park every single time? Because they are individually incredibly talented with the best in-house beta readers in the form of each other? Do they have that trust amongst each other that they know whatever they say to each other in the writing and editing process is said with love and the other’s best interest at heart? Is that why they are at the top of their game? And if so, are other authors taking note? Is this the magic answer? I’m not saying that all authors should take on a co-author. No. Heavens no. BUT shouldn’t authors have beta readers to read their books and give them genuine and honest feedback? Is that what the world needs? Is that why I finish so many books thinking: What the hell just happened here? but am in my happy place any time I finish a Christina Lauren book? Or is it because they are indeed magical unicorns? Hmmmm…I’m gonna have to noodle on that for a little bit…

I guess the moral of this post is that C and Lo are magical unicorns. Wait. No. That’s not it. Hold on. The moral of this post is that there are A LOT of authors and even more books out there. You are not going to love every book you read. But here’s what not to do: don’t go to social media and rip the book and author to shreds. Not cool. At the very least, be kind and constructive when reviewing. But say you just read a book that has really ruined your day because it’s not what you expected from that author or that book—take a breath and pick up a book written by an author you love to help restore your faith. For me, it’s my magical unicorns. I’m currently re-reading Beautiful Player because one cannot go wrong with that book! So go forth and find your own magical unicorns….or just stick with the originals:) If you haven’t yet read anything by C and Lo, go HERE!!!!!

Happy reading, beautiful people!!!

xoxo 

Rusty Nailed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have wanted this book since I finished Wallbanger. I take that back. I have wanted this book since BEFORE I finished reading Wallbanger. I remember being half-way through Wallbanger and thinking: Is there another book? Is there more? There HAS to be more!!!! And then…then it happened…the book gods smiled down upon me and on the 7^th day, Alice Fucking Clayton said: Let there be Rusty Nailed!!!

Simon is back!!!! And Caroline! And Clive! Did I mention Simon? Because Simon IS back!!! Don’t believe me?

He was like a naughty work of art. Then he lifted his head and opened his eyes. Singularly focused, dark, and of one mind-set. Simon was about to fuck.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof!!!!!! I told you Simon was back!!!! I am going to write a super long review for Steph’s blog in a couple of days, but this is what I have to say about Rusty Nailed right now. Are you ready? Here it goes: BUY. THIS. BOOK.

Don’t give me the ‘Do you know how long my TBR list is?’ spiel because I give zero fucks. Harsh? I think not! We are talking about Simon Parker after all!!!! Buy Rusty Nailed here:  http://www.amazon.com/Rusty-Nailed-The-Cocktail-Series-ebook/dp/B00GEEB23U 

Oh! I have one other thing to say about this book before I post my review on Steph’s blog on July 9^th. Don’t read Rusty Nailed with any preconceived notions as to how this sequel ‘should’ go down. Yes, it’s a sequel. Yes, you know and love these characters. BUT let Alice take you on this journey with Simon and Caroline. Let ALice tell you the story she wants to tell you and not the story you want to hear. I promise—it’s Alice Fucking Clayton after all. She won’t let you down. Promise. Don’t believe me? How about a little of this:

“Simon?”

“Hmm?”

“You awake?”

“Huh-uh.”

“Just wanted to tell you I love you.”

“Mmm.”

“Caroline?

“Hmm?”

“I love you too.”

“Mmm.”

“Caroline?”

“Mmm?”

“You wanna fool around?”

“If I said no, what would happen?”

                    “I’d lie here next to you, thinking dirty thoughts.” 

Yeah…that’s that I thought:) Simon so owns me. And you too…I know it! Rusty Nailed: Buy it! Read it! Love it!!!!

xoxo

“Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! OMG. You’re Colleen Hoover!!!!!”

Soooooo…I had a fangirl moment over the weekend. I met THE Colleen Hoover. Can you believe it?!?!? It happened. I can’t even make this stuff up! I have to take a moment to explain something to you—in case you didn’t already know…Colleen is the coolest of the cool. True story. I’ll explain but let me tell you a little about accidentally meeting Colleen.

Who remembers me having a moment when these babies arrived in the mail a couple weeks ago?

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Colleen was finally coming to Chicago!!!! I was excited. Super. Duper. Excited. I had big plans to keep my fangirl under control. Big plans. Welp, the day finally arrived and I was excited but I was sure I’d be able to control myself. Yeah…that lasted until about the time we arrived at Hotel Chicago. If you haven’t been to or stayed at Hotel Chicago, you should really consider it next time you are in town. It’s really hip and funky and scary close to the House of Blues.

So it was all under control until we walked in and saw a sign indicating Colleen Hoover was in the house!!!!!…then I started to get really excited. Hmmmmm…4^th floor you say? We are early so let’s just go upstairs to see where it is so we will know where we’re going. As soon as we get off the elevator, we see this:

Cool, right!?!? So we were just standing there taking some pictures and the elevator dings and I turn just in time to scream like a little girl. It was an, “Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! OMG. You’re Colleen Hoover!!!!!” scream. The scream was also followed by an “OMG. You’re Colleen Hoover!!!!!” I did not expect that AT ALL. I thought Murphy would have her stashed at an undisclosed location away from the crazies like me!

So did Colleen run screaming in fear from that insanely loud greeting? No she did not. Do you think that’s because she is accustomed to fangirls reacting to her like that upon sight? She simply smiled and gave me a sweet “Hello” and a “Yes I am.” Holy crap. She then walked over and started helping take out all of her books she brought to sell. Whoa. She was right there. She clearly was busy and had a million things to do but I wanted to give her a gift before she got all crazy with the hundreds of readers who would be turning out so I walked up and asked her if I could give her something and she was the sweetest. My uber crafty friend who has endured my crazy since college made this for Colleen:

I told her I stalk (in a very harmless way, of course) her via Twitter and am still waiting for my #HolderBabies. She looked up and said, “Are you Dana? Are you @smuttastic?” Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!! She then came around the counter from where she was standing and gave me a hug. A Colleen Hoover hug!!!!!! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I then asked her if she would take a picture with my Flat Kat before we left her to get ready and she said yes!!! Look how cute she is:

Oh!!!! And as we were standing there, her AsSISTERnt, Murphy came up!!!! It’s funny because you see these people interacting on Instagram and Twitter so it’s like you know them but you don’t. Weird, right? Let me tell you what the coolest thing about Murphy is—she is a no BS kind of girl and I LOVE that. AND she had the coolest purple hair! Could she be any cooler? I think not. I know she is technically a Texas girl but she would make a kickass Chicagoan!!

So there’s the story of me meeting Colleen for the very first time. I am going to write more about the actual event and Colleen and Griffin and all of their collective awesomeness in my next post. Here’s a little hint: they are both even cooler in person!!!! More to come on that tomorrow.

xoxo

THIS GIRL is HOPELESSly in (Ugly;) LOVE with the one and only Colleen Hoover

It’s happening!!!! Colleen Hoover is coming to Chicago! Only 3 more sleeps!!!! THREE!!!! I’m excited. Who’s excited? THIS girl! That’s who. Ha! See what I did there? ;)

So a little about my love for Colleen…

You guys know when I love a book, I REALLY love a book and that’s all you hear about from me on here and on Twitter until I convince you all to read and love and obsess over the book with me. Well, here’s how my love for Colleen came about.

Soon after Hopeless released I received several tweets telling me that I NEEDED to read this book. I balked at first because it was centered around high schoolers.  Yes, I know…I’m an idiot. In any event, I one-clicked it and I think it was at the top of my Kindle when I got on the stairmaster that New Year’s Eve morning. I thought to myself, ‘What the hay! Let’s give it a try and if it can distract me from the pain of this death machine, that’s a bonus.’ Distract me? I hoped it would distract me?!?!? It completely and totally consumed me. This was a problem. It was New Year’s Eve day! I needed to work out, shower and prepare for my day! I was hosting a party that night. I didn’t have time to read this book and trust me: IT WAS ALL I WANTED TO DO!!!!

That day was a blur—I played a little game with myself. Finishing up task after task and after every task, I’d get 5 minutes of Hopeless  reading. House cleaned—check! Holder time. Drinks on ice—check! Holder time. Silverware polished—check! Holder time. Desserts made—check! Holder time. Appetizers in the oven—check! Holder time. And on and on it went…after every task was checked off the list, it was Holder time. Guests start arriving…aghhhhhhh!!! What about my Holder time?!?!? This was a problem. I couldn’t check out of my own party so I’d have to sneak away here and there. Oh! Let me put away your coat—check! Holder time. :) I was pathetic with a capital P!

By the time my house was full of people and I ran out of excuses to sneak away, I got very little Holder time the rest of the night. I will admit that I did take my phone with me to the bathroom and I may or may not have had more bathroom breaks than usual but that is neither here nor there. I may have then had too much to drink and accidentally misplaced my phone so Holder time would be on hold until the next day.

I woke up New Year’s Day at the crack of dawn—with very little sleep—to a house that was a complete disaster and a hangover that was trying to kill me. What did I do? First things first: find my phone! Holder needs me!!!!! Okay. Yeah, I know. He doesn’t need me. I need him! The book gods were smiling down because I quickly found my phone. I spent the rest of that morning and afternoon reading Hopeless. Oh. My. God. Colleen Hoover has owned me since then.

I remember when I discovered the meaning of Holder’s tattoo for the first time. That memory is forever seared into my brain. Gasping! There was gasping! I remember after piece after piece was revealed thinking: How did I not see that coming?!?! while simultaneously thinking: How could I have ever seen that coming!?!?! There is so much about this book that I love. Oh so much. I’ll profess my love for Losing Hope tomorrow but holy hell. Hopeless will forever go down as one of my favorite books in the history of ever. If you haven’t read it yet, you must do so NOW. Like yesterday NOW. Do you hear me?!?!? Go HERE!!!!

And another thing…aside from Colleen writing one of my favorite books in the history of ever, she did something else. She gave me one of my nearest and dearest friends and she doesn’t even know it. As I was tweeting about sneaking away from my New Year’s Eve party to read this book, a certain someone who saw my tweets was intrigued. She tells me now that all she could think was: this must be a great book if she’s willing to miss out on a New Year’s Eve party of all parties. So she one-clicked Hopeless and fell in love with Holder and the incredible Colleen Hoover and by default, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I now get to call Kat one of my very best friends and I have Colleen to thank for that!!!! Kat--I loooooooooooooooove you!!! So while Kat lives all the way in Canada, I will be bringing my Flat Kat to the signing on Saturday. Are you ready for me and Flat Kat and treats, Colleen?

So…can you see now why I am so excited that THE Colleen Hoover is coming to Chicago?!?! Giddy! I am seriously giddy!!!! Be prepared good people. More Colleen love to come over the next couple days because THIS GIRL is HOPELESSly in (Ugly;) LOVE with the one and only Colleen Hoover.

xoxo 

Whoa.

Okay...I'm officially the worst blogger in the history of ever. Real life has seriously been in my way as of late. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. On the up side...more ridiculousness to come sooners rather than laters...

You see, my college roommate has agreed to go on yet another adventure with me. We are going to see Colleen Hoover when she comes to town this weekend. Eeeeeeeeeeeeep! Colleen. Hoover. I know that Colleen has written a bazillion books and I own then all but Colleen owns me with Hopeless and Losing Hope. Holy Holder!!!!!

I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when I read Hopeless for the first time. How often does that happen? I remember it all. I also remember the swollen face I had the very next day from that ugly cry Colleen gave me. It seems appropriate that her next book is titled Ugly Love, yeah? Okay...so yeah, I'm gonna try really heard to be less of a delinquent. I have to--right? After all, there will be a full Colleen wrap up! Ooooooooooh. Now that I'm typing this, I'm getting excited.

Colleen, here I come!!!!!